Convicts are sensitive, right?

A co-worker told me he was listening to some Tony Robbins bullshit about love, love, and more love. How do you know you’re in love? What do you want from your partner? How can they show you love? How do you show your partner love? Is it saying, “I love you” or something else?

He asked me these questions, and I have to admit I had a hard time answering them. My relationship history is… well, it’s an interesting history, if you’re into bizarre life experiences and calamities.

It’s a bit worrisome – I know my last post was about how I don’t need a boyfriend, but I don’t even know who I’d look for. The most I could come up with was that it didn’t necessarily have to be the words, although words are nice. Whomever I dated would stick up for me, if necessary, and that they’d write me letters without me asking, and that every now and then they’d let me know they were thinking about me (via text, not phone call). What should I have said? Should I have gotten my answers from something I saw on Lifetime? And as for me showing them love… I’d do the best I could. I tend to be a relationship chameleon – I try to take an interest in your interests, and sometimes they even stick. Provided you’re not into coke and midget porn. You might want to look elsewhere if that’s the case.  (Upon rereading this, I sound uber shallow. I realize a hell of a lot more goes into a relationship than this. Whatever. Go do some coke and leave me alone.)

I might as well be interested in prison convicts. I hear they write a lot. And maybe they think, too.

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3 thoughts on “Convicts are sensitive, right?

  1. k says:

    Yeah your coke and midget porn phase was pretty worrisome….NO MORE OF THOSE GUYS! ….no matter how charming

  2. well, dating a convict would certainly round out the recent history. but i’m voting no on this one. how about a nice geologist? sometimes what you think you want is the last thing you need.

  3. Just don’t date an armless mime.

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