“Gentle people, gentle souls, go in love…we can’t afford to stay resentful.” – Melody Beattie
I’m not quite sure I’m past that resentful stage. I’ve gotten slightly better at my reactions – if only that they’re sometimes less outburst-y and a bit more subconscious. For example, today I had a two-second interaction that stayed with me for most of the day.
I didn’t get angry; I shrugged it off. It’s only now that I think about it, and revisit it, and notice that my jaw is clenched and my body is tight. I used a breathing pattern I learned in a yoga class yesterday (yeah, I went back to yoga – balance in, balance out, WHATEVER) holding the breath in my stomach, in my ribs, in my chest, and then, just as slowly – letting it go.
I had to breathe in and out a couple times before I started to relax. I had to tell myself to let this go. That this was nothing – because simply – that’s exactly what it was. And much like the practice of yoga, acting in love is simply about balance. Don’t be afraid to set boundaries, don’t be afraid to be firm. But performing those actions doesn’t mean that you have to be an asshole.
It makes sense. Once things have been properly placed, once the intensity of the feeling is gone, it’s just good practice to be kind. No, I don’t have to look at this person in the eye and pretend to be their best friend (the one thing I’ve never been able to do is be fake – I don’t believe in it, and it’s pathetic to see that some people live that way). But, it might be a good lesson for me to learn – and it’s one that will prevent my future TMJ.