And now?

I had a drama teacher in high school who always asked us about the concept of “now.” How can now be now when now has already passed?

I found it a difficult and frustrating question, to say the least. And now, some years later, I find it difficult to live that way – focused on the present. Live in the now, because now is all we have, according to Beattie. But it makes sense; if you’re still thinking about the argument you got into yesterday while worrying about all the stuff you have to do tomorrow, it kind of makes you not such a happy person.

So, today I attempted to focus on what I had. I ran this morning, not long after I got up. For the first few minutes I focused really intently on breathing in and out, to make sure I did so (I sometimes forget). To my surprise, I noticed that what usually causes me great strife – the first mile or so – wasn’t all that awful. I did have to convince myself a few times to stay with it, but it was ok.

When I got home, I tried to stay productive and positive. Normally I save my days off as the stockpiling of “stuff” that doesn’t get done during the week (and, honestly, 98% of what I want to do never gets done anyway). Today I told myself that I should just do a little bit. Start with one pile of mail. Throw away things that I could. When I was done, you could actually see my coffee table. I consider this – well, anyone who knows me would consider this – a major accomplishment.

And, as boring as it may sound, I’m spending my evening trying to cook, 1) to use up what has a tendency to perish, and 2) to be more proactive in eating healthier.

It wasn’t always easy to be present today, but I did the best I could. And I found that it was an interesting way to be productive, and somewhat positive.

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One thought on “And now?

  1. glenn147 says:

    Sounds like you are Right where you are Supposed to be…Right here Right Now. Any doubt just look down at your feet. They are Right where they are supposed to be…So what’s the Problem.

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