Day 63. Beattie writes about how, when many people have identified themselves by catering to others, it’s sort of impossible to figure out who you are.
And once you have a glimpse of that person, you may have trouble accepting who you discover.
If there was any description of how I’m feeling right now, that would be it. I think I’m coming to terms with letting go of my past, but I have a hard time accepting it. I have only myself to face, to answer to, to spend time with.
And I’ve never been more confused in my life. I keep thinking of things as “good” and “bad,” immersing myself in judgments one way or the other. I have a hard time thinking that things will just happen the way I want them to if I just step back. I keep thinking there is so much I have to do. I keep thinking there are steps to follow. That A will lead to Z if I just…
It’s been difficult, but I’ll figure it out. I have a whole year to do nothing else but figure it out.