There are days when I just want to segment every aspect of my life, freeze time, and get my shit done. Unfortunately, that is not possible. Needless to say, I’ve been a very, very busy person lately, and I have a hell of a lot of loose ends that need to be tied up as quickly as possible.
I’m leaving for San Diego in two days and I’m not even remotely ready for it (I think I have about 7 pounds of laundry to take care of first, and then I need to figure out if anything fits me anymore because I’ve been feeling like Jabba the Hut). I’m really excited for the trip, the calm before the storm, and I get to spend time with my family – which is awesome!
When I get back from San Diego, life resumes. I have to figure out when I’m moving, which will be sometime before next Friday, but everything is still very up in the air (which is driving me crazy, but I’m trying to keep a lid on it and calm down).
I have to sell my things. This excites me to no end. I don’t care if it takes me another year to furnish my new apartment. I am unbelievably ready for change, and in turn, learning to live simply.
I really, really, really want to get a handle on everything at work. The mounds of paper I’ve acquired since March are kind of disgusting. Strong judgment word, yes, but absolutely true. I need a mantra like, “You can do it, put your back into it!” (or something that doesn’t involve going clubbing.)
Right now, I’m in a waiting game. I’m living life, getting stronger, getting better, still making mistakes, still need to settle down a bit. I want, I want, I want… and I need to slow down and wait. I need to be patient. The in-between is always an unsettling place, for me. If there’s something I really need… it’s to trust.
Have a good night, everyone. Be kind to yourselves.
P.S. Every time I write that, I absolutely mean that. I think people judge themselves way too harshly. However, I always think of the movie “Mean Girls”: “That is so fetch!” “Gretchen, stop trying to make ‘fetch’ happen! It’s not going to happen!”