I skipped my workout yesterday in favor of not running in the heat, so I planned to run this morning instead. I (finally!) found my interval watch, and set my alarm for 5:30 a.m. when it wouldn’t be too hot.
And then my alarm didn’t go off. And when I woke up, at almost 7, I once again debated running outside in 80-degree weather. 45 minutes later, I was outside.
As I started running, attempting to do 5/1s, I began to think of why it was that I couldn’t get over this stumbling block. It’s hard, yes. It hurts, yes. I’m having definite troubles. And I’m not working toward correcting them as much as I should be. I did the intervals, but super half-assedly. I ran hills six times, and then I walked home. I worked out, but I don’t feel good about it.
When I read Scott Jurek’s book, “Eat & Run,” he explains how he wasn’t particularly fast, so he practiced. And he wasn’t the best at going downhill on mountains, so he practiced.
So the answer, for me, is plain as day. Practice, and it will get better. Practice, and it will get easier. Practice, and all the negativity (most, anyway) will become obsolete. Why is it that I’m not willing to let my mind go on this one?
Do I just think that the marathon will run itself?
As cool as that would be, it’s not going to happen. I think I put unnecessary pressure on running this time. I’ve gotten faster since I started running in November, and I thought I had to prove something. But I wasn’t quite as motivated as Scott Jurek to run up and down mountains three times every day for two months.
So what is it? Do others have some innate talent that I do not?
I don’t believe that to be true, either. Others are talented, sure. So am I. I have a lot of talents. I don’t nurture them. I just don’t work at it.
How frustrating it is to know that you could be really good at something, if only you tried? Put forth effort? If only you just shut your mind off, accepted it was going to take time, patience, and determination and just did whatever you set out to do?
How sad it is to know that I am not the best person I could be, and it’s not anyone else’s doing but my own?
“It had long since come to my attention that people of accomplishment rarely sat back and let things happen to them. They went out and happened to things.” – Leonardo da Vinci