After not sleeping last night (I didn’t get to sleep til almost 1:30 a.m., and have to wake up at 4 a.m. practically every day), I was particularly looking forward to doing absolutely nothing except:
To stretch: my body feels like I purposely slammed it on the ground,
To sleep: my body feels like I purposely slammed it on the ground.
I’ve also been dealing with an internal battle of have-and-have-nots lately, both materialistically and interpersonally.
I think the real problem is that I secretly miss my TV.
Oh, and I’ve spent an inordinate amount of time trying to compare myself to other people. That never, ever works, no matter how much credence I try to give it (… and yet, I just… can’t … stop….!).
Then today, something happened I’ve been waiting for all summer: I got a chance to walk a bit in the rain.
Never underestimate a small moment – one that’s inconsequential (and even silly and stupid!) to others…
It made me feel calm. And happy.
And even though I’m not getting all the answers that I want right now, and even though I may not even be getting what I need right now, it’s good to be content just by being.
By being the girl who walks home in the rain, who doesn’t give a fuck about what other people think, who – through hard work, dedication, and patience – will rise above, will succeed, will be awesome – and it won’t be because other people think I should be that way.
I’m onto bigger and better things in my life.
(Hopefully one of those things is a television.)
Have a good night, everyone. Be kind to yourselves.