The Mental Weight of Weight.

I’m feeling particularly angsty at the moment, and I’m not sure why. Maybe it’s the weather change that’s happened pretty much overnight (nothing new for Chicagoans, however).

I find myself really wanting to chill in front of a fire (a bonfire, specifically) and drink hot chocolate and eat smores. I find myself really wanting to sit by the ocean for a while.

For someone who doesn’t consider herself one with nature, I think about it an awful lot.

And then I remember that foods like smores and drinks like hot chocolate don’t help me to lose weight.

And then I wonder why I care. Which leads me to think about when food exactly became my safety net.

It’s not like I am endangering my life, but I’m not being healthy. I won’t be showing up on a talk show anytime soon. I approach food the same way I approach many other areas of my life – haphazardly. It drives me crazy – count calories, don’t count calories. Eat meat, go vegetarian. Be a size 2, embrace your curves. Today, Jillian Michaels. Tomorrow, bulemia.

How the hell do you figure it all out?

No clue, says I. No clue.

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3 thoughts on “The Mental Weight of Weight.

  1. Totally know how you feel! Pregnancy only exaggerated the “weight” of weight on my mind, because it’s all anyone else wants to talk about with me! And no, not their weight – mine. Treat yourself well and your body will reward you. Good luck!

  2. Elane Arden says:

    Im a binge eater… and I know the more I count calories, the more obsessed I become. I have found a way to have that hot chocolate you mentioned 😉 Swiss Miss makes a Diet version (25 calories) I make it with half water and half almond milk (adding another 15 calories) and flavor it with sugar free syrups (0 calories)…. they come in salted caramel, irish cream… you name it! Depravation is a quick way to fail, so I like to cheat the system!
    I put a few recipes here: http://wp.me/p2CN9q-2e

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