Right now, I’m not sure how much more I can handle from you. Today, I went to go get you checked out because you’ve been hurting (AGAIN) and I expected more of the same – slight injury, la la la.
And of course I decided to do this on a day that I hadn’t shaved my legs (sorry, therapist dude, for the 2-day stubble), and of course my feet probably smelled and were unsightly (I’m still recuperating post-marathon), and I’m sorry for all of the little stretchy tests and resistance exercises I had to use you to do.
First there was the swelling, then there was the shin splints, then there’s the constant fear of diabetes because I eat like shit and I think your feet fall off after a while, then there was compression therapy every fuckin’ Tuesday (ugh), and there were stretches that were painful, and icing that was ok ,and elevating that was like, SERIOUSLY I NEED A PEDICURE OVER HERE… and to be quite honest I don’t know why it’s the left leg. No offense or anything, but why are you special?
The therapist dude thinks that, if these series of stretches don’t help in at least a week, I should see my regular doctor, and consider compartment syndrome. In certain scenarios, the end game to this syndrome IS THAT THEY CUT YOUR FUCKING LEG WIDE THE FUCK OPEN … to release pressure.
(Lest you don’t believe me, Wikipedia – that holiest of sites – has a terrifying picture that I’ve been sending to friends.)
So, I don’t believe I have this – at least I hope that’s not what this is – … at least, I hope diabetes may be a better option than this… in the meantime, I cannot run (I couldn’t do that without much pain anyway). I cannot walk for prolonged periods (no winter beach walks for me!).
I can do other cardio and get a sports massage. Goody.
So, I’m not quite sure what to do. Meanwhile, I shall continue to think happy thoughts, try to get my ass to the gym at least twice a week, and hope that you, leg, get better.
Otherwise, we got probs.