“Weekend” Update.

Something very strange has occurred within the past two days; namely, that I had two days off in a row, and therefore got to experience what I very rarely experience: a weekend.

Monday was spent alternating between my couch and more couch, but I did make the trip to the vascular peeps to do more testing on my leg. They wanted to do a DVT ultrasound (to see if there was a blood clot), and to check the popliteal artery (to check – one more time – if it was compartment syndrome). I attempted to explain that I thought it was neither, considering I’ve been checked for DVTs twice in my life (on the same leg) and it’s always come out negative, and the last doctor I went to assured me it wasn’t compartment syndrome. The ultrasound, as far as the technician knew, showed nothing. The second test involved, essentially, taking the blood pressure of my ankles, listening to the blood flow of my feet, and then moving my leg in different directions with the ultrasound sensor pressed against the back of my knee. What they hoped is that the blood flow would stop when they moved my leg, confirming the compartment syndrome diagnosis; alas, it did not.

I have a follow up appointment on Thursday. Yippee.

I’m still sick, which I was hoping two days off would cure, and what I’ve noticed is that you do a lot of strange things when you’re sick. I’ve been mostly chillin’, but every now and then over the past two days I’m like, “Man, I should really look for that one piece of mail…” so there I am, moving pile over pile of paper, creating new piles, sneezing like crazy, hacking a lung, and then thinking, “Man I’m really tired. This is too much. Time to lay down.”

On top of that, I got my period. So instead of properly feeding myself I went to Walgreens and bought more cold medicine and an entire bag of Snickers, because when your ovaries demand something you don’t dare tell them no. I finished them today and instead of feeling satisfied I just felt like a fat whale. Someday I will have an awkward talk with my lady parts, and tell them to start demanding kale instead of chocolate. That day is away far off, though. Don’t worry.

It’s like the universe is conspiring to make my body blow up, like that musical episode of Buffy where everyone dances until they explode.

They, like me, feel too much.

Have a good night, everyone.

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