That is the postcard I’m going to send to my nephew’s class, because they’re learning about the post office. It has to be postmarked before Thursday, so if I don’t get off my ass today and do it, I have to do it tomorrow.
I generally enjoy writing letters; it makes me sad that the post office is becoming an extinct institution. I might have written that on my postcard, except I don’t believe that’s a fact little kids would enjoy or understand. Instead, we had to write a fact about the city we live in. Of course, I wanted my fact to be the best fact ever! … but decided to play it safe.
Facts I could have used:
-Chicago has more seasons in one day than any other place.
-Chicagoans are fond of shooting one another.
-Relatedly, I don’t understand why – if Chicagoans must kill each other – they don’t do it in a more creative way, like a hot dog contest.
-Off topic: I hate the way “Auntie Amanda” sounds.
-Relatedly, I am so not an adult. Moving on…
-Chicago is home to the Chicago Cubs, a losing team that many people (including myself) love, but don’t know why. Chicago is also home to the White Sox, a team that won the World Series in 2005. White Sox fans have acknowledged this every year since, like a birthday.
-People who are from the ‘burbs like to say they’re from Chicago. These people are liars and are not to be trusted.
-Chicago pizza. I realize that’s not a fact. That’s not even a sentence. It’s like that Field of Dreams quote, “If you build it, they will come.” If you eat this, you might gain a million pounds, but you will be happy for the rest of your life.
So, thanks, Aidan and co. for keeping the USPS alive. They’re about to stop service on Saturdays, but I think it’s really because they just wanted weekends. Solidarity, brothers and sisters of the USPS. Solidarity.
Have a good night, everyone.