Funny Valentine.

So, it’s Valentine’s Day.

Every year, I’m always surprised at the reaction this day elicits from people. And every year, I’m always like, “Whaaaaat? just happened there…” And every year, I tell myself that it’s just Valentine’s Day and that’s how people get, and la la la.

I don’t claim to be a relationship (or non-relationship) expert, but in my humble opinion, Valentine’s Day is the reason people die prematurely. Don’t understand what I mean? Think I’m being a little overdramatic?

If you’re single – both men and women, but women seem to take this day harder – this day becomes a disaster of epic proportions. It’s like, everywhere you turn, no place is safe! Hearts, candies, flowers for someone else! Stuffed animals galore! It’s as if the universe is quite clearly telling you that you’re bound to die alone, set adrift and then drowning in a sea of your own bitter, solitary tears! Seriously. Women get unhinged if they’re not attached.

But then the couples! And the marrieds! Holy Christ! Men’s hair turns grey overnight because they either forgot that it was Valentine’s Day until the last minute, or they worry that their woman won’t like what they picked. And then the women take to Facebook, like galloping horses in a crusade, to either laud the efforts or berate them.

So all day long, on a day that gradually became about celebrating love and happiness, it turns into what could be a script for the Kardashians. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?

Here’s the thing, ladies: I’ve celebrated V-Days with someone and without. I kid you not: The best gift I ever got was a thong … made out of duct tape. I never wore it, but it made me laugh so hard I never forgot it – and I think I still have it somewhere. It was a private joke between the two of us, and because my boyfriend at the time made it for me, it made me feel like he was really paying attention to the little things. Stupid? Yes. But those  are the things that matter. Not, “HE GOT IT WRONG OH MY GOD WAAAAA…” Stop. Calm yourself. Or Justin Bieber will sic his Twitter followers on you.

And ladies, if you’re single, it is not a bounty on your head. It’s time to be so grateful for who you are in that moment. To really connect with what’s going on inside of and around you. I spent my Valentine’s Day morning waking up at 2:30am for no reason, and when I got tired of laying around and not falling back to sleep, I paid bills. Yes, I know that makes me strange. But you know what? I was so grateful for having the opportunity to do that. And I just felt really good. I wasn’t thinking of how alone I was; instead, I considered that – all things considered – I’m doing fairly well.

I am not saying that I have never been a practitioner of the things I mention above. I’m just saying, we all look a little funny freaking out like that. So, for a minute tonight if you’re able – take a moment to love the one you’re with, even if you’re with yourself. PLEASE. This is just another day in the scheme of another year.

Have a good night, you neurotics. 🙂

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