“Don’t look ahead, there’s stormy weather – another roadblock in our way. But if we go, we go together; our hands are tied here if we stay. We said our dreams will carry us – and if they don’t fly, we will run. Now we push right past to find out how to win what they all lost.” – Santigold
Currently chillin’ in my kitchen office, a space in which I rarely cook, but that seems to be convenient for typing.
I’m just going to word vomit everything at this moment, so I apologize in advance:
Met Paul’s parents, and they were totally awesome. We ate pizza and visited the zoo, we got rained on, I wore another dress that maybe fit better than the last one, I still probably looked like a dork.
Later that night, Paul and I went to this bar where he kicked my ass at Connect 4 (like, seriously. He was so good I didn’t even realize he won) and I kicked his ass at Jenga (but I consider that more luck than skill). And then more later that night, we got into a heated discussion about WHAT ELSE THAN … that’s right, you guessed it, The Little Mermaid.
I’ve been writing this thing for about 5 years now, so I’m going to go out on a limb and say that I’ve professed my love for this Disney masterpiece before. But if not, THIS IS MY FAVORITE DISNEY MOVIE EVER. Some of you may think that because I spent 1992-1993 watching Aladdin almost everyday upon getting home from school that Aladdin was my favorite, but no. It’s Ariel and her swimming buddies. I am almost 31 and if you put The Little Mermaid on, I will recite it, word for word.
So, you’d think that, if I am so bold as to claim the above, I would have no issues with said recitations. ALAS. We were discussing that song, “Part of Your World,” right? And he’s like, “I’m glad you said it’s ‘Part of Your World’ and not ‘Part of That World’.” at which point I looked at him like he was dumb, because who would ever refer to that song as such?
And he continued, “You know, because she sings ‘that’ instead of ‘your’.”
And I said, “NO. WHAT?”
He said, “She never actually sings ‘Part of Your World’.”
At which point I was indignant. And we had to listen to the song. And he was FUCKING RIGHT.
And then he reminded me, gently, that he never argues anything unless he knows certainly that what he is arguing is true.
Speaking of mothers, I saw mine yesterday, looking skinny as all hell. She asked, of course, if I had brought her anything useful – money, cigarettes (actually, she prefers cigars these days) – and when I told her I hadn’t, she made her fingers look like a gun, and then shot me and laughed. I wanted to tell her that it’s 2015 and fake-shooting people (let alone your own daughter) isn’t cool anymore, and then thought that if she really had shot me, then nobody would be around to not bring her anything anyway, so I kept it to myself.
She mentioned a bunch of times that she had AIDS, and that’s why she was so thin, and then accused me of stealing her trust money, which was awesome. It’s times like these that I have to remember that sometimes my mother is overtaken by a little brain-demon, without whom she is a very sweet, caring, loving, nurturing woman.
Her social worker was present too, someone who seems to be surface-level invested but isn’t, really. She was very sweet and promised that she would look into things, but I think we both knew that as soon as I left, she’d forget about the piece of paper she wrote all her notes down on. I intend to follow up with her soon, but what I’d really love is to have my mom go back to the place she was in circa 2012. It wasn’t great, but it seems to be a hell of a lot better than the current place.
I don’t know. Seems for every up there is a down. I just need to try and stay positive and be grateful for the good things, because the bad things will always be there. It’s just a matter of how much you’re willing to let the bad things consume you.
Although I really wouldn’t mind if Batman took up my problems and just punched people in the face for me, either.
Have a good night, friends. Be kind to yourselves.