Our Ecstatic Days.

Sup, 2016?

My eyes are burning but that’s what happens when you sleep very little and stare at computer screens all day. My last post was kind of a bummer, right?

Bumsville central.

Ooh. That’d be a good soap opera:

“Next time, on Bumsville Central: Amanda’s mother leaves the hospital because the medical community gives no fucks, goes back to her residential home where she’s eating more but still taking no meds. WILL THE CYCLE CONTINUE? DUN DUN DUN… ::closeup of people’s teeth::

(Voiceover) no bums were harmed in the making of this imaginary soap opera.”

This is also what happens when you sleep very little. You think crazy things and they are kinda funny.

But hey. Onto good things.

Paul and I are still very much smitten. I posted an otter meme on his facebook timeline the other day that said, “YOU’RE MY OTTER HALF” because he loves otters, and he was like, “Hey, look. An otter.”


And he said, “Go to work.”

My body is still falling apart. I’m in pain more often than not, but it could be weather-related and also insomnia-related. I have an appointment with a clinical psychologist with an interest in sleep medicine coming up, and I still need to schedule an ultrasound for my hands (which is good, because they’re hurty and numb and ugh). I need to find the piece of paper that the information is on, and have decided that this – and only this – will be my new year’s resolution. Fuck losing 30 pounds (even though I need to, Lord Jesus hear me) but, like, clearing a space is WHERE IT’S AT.

My sister visited me over the weekend and it was amazing and lovely because she is amazing and lovely and makes me laugh hysterically. It was good to just chill (even though we did a ton of girly things). And we saw “Concussion” which was amazing, but also I don’t want anyone playing football anymore.

What else can I ramble on about? Oh. Today I went back to music lessons and stood by the door for five whole minutes before I realized that the teacher wasn’t opening up the door for me. So I went to ask what room she was in and sitting at the desk was one of the guys I went on a coffee date with many many months ago (he was the short, “I thought you were blonde” one). So. Um. Awkward. I don’t know if he recognized me, even though my hair is a different color now than it was then, but it was the kind of date that makes you never want to see them again. Even by accident. So he told me that she must be in the other building across the street, at which point I texted her … only to find out that I was in the entirely wrong location of the city.

Maybe I was just meant to run into short guys today. I don’t know.

It amazes me that last year I was burning pieces of paper with my bestest and wishing for a better experience. I think I got what I wished for and a lot of things I could have never wished for, but apparently someone believes I can manage all the things.

So, here I am, managing but barely. It’s like a rope that I’m climbing up, but the rope is on fire. It’s fun. Love it.

Or not.

Have a good night, friends. Be kind to yourselves.


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